A Mind for Memory with Brian Skellenger, Survivalist

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[00:00:06] Brian Skellenger: I am here.

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So, if Brian's voice sounds at all familiar to listeners, it's because he's the voice of the theme song of my podcast. And so I wanted to have him on to talk about that. So that'll be kind of like a departure from my usual things.

But I also wanted to bring Brian on because I personally think of him as a Renaissance Person, and he's also the best person I know at pushing back on my ideas when he disagrees with them. He will not hold back.

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[00:00:50] Sara Kobilka: He will call me out. You're my little brother.

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[00:00:53] Sara Kobilka: It's what your job is. So I know that if I say something and he's like, yeah, not really. He's gonna say it. He's gonna call me on it and it's gonna be great. So you may call me on this first question. Ok. A nd you have full permission to do it, and it's about identity.

So I gave you the list ahead of time. We'll see which one you pick. I'm very intrigued. Which term best aligns with your identity? Renaissance Person. Multi-passionate, generalist, versatilist. Jack,- Jill-, Jay-of-all-trades, boundary spanner, or something else.

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[00:01:28] Sara Kobilka: Oh, course not! Big sister can't tell you what to do.

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[00:01:33] Sara Kobilka: That's right.

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At least maybe other people like you would say that I am a Renaissance Person or something. But I picked a word and then I like looked it up and it has a completely different meaning. So I'm changing the meaning of this word,

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[00:01:57] Brian Skellenger: Like, beware Webster's Dictionary. Like, you're getting a new entry!

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[00:02:02] Brian Skellenger: Exactly! So when I think of like Jack-of-all-trades and Renaissance People, I sort of think about like the passion behind

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[00:02:13] Brian Skellenger: And a lot of my skills are in things that I wouldn't necessarily say I am passionate about pursuing, but I've just developed as a skill to just make me more marketable. And as just like something to do because you know, I, I started out as an actor professionally, and I think a lot of my passions and interests are in the arts, whether that's acting or singing or improv. And so it doesn't feel as like versatile, I think as, as what I would consider like a Jack-of-all-trades. When we think of like a trade being more of like a job sort of thing. Or when I think of a Jack-of-all-trades, it's like this person who can like come over and like, fix the pipes under your sink and then like, teach you how to do ballroom dancing. And, you know, like, it just feels like a wider variety. And mine are all sort of like specifically within the arts. So in terms of like my other things that I've done job wise, I came up with survivalist. And now survivalist has sort of a doomsday prepper.

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[00:02:13] Brian Skellenger: I'm not hoarding food and resources.

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[00:03:41] Sara Kobilka: I'm a survivor. I'm gonna... OK. That's your theme song.

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[00:03:56] Sara Kobilka: yep.

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[00:04:17] Sara Kobilka: I like that.

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[00:04:19] Sara Kobilka: You know what? Like a good Renaissance Person, we do really good long-winded answers, which is why it's rapid ish fire questions at the end, and they're never rapid.

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[00:04:26] Sara Kobilka: But, so when I texted you about coming on and you're like, I'll come on, but I don't really think I am like a Renaissance Person. I started thinking, the most recent podcast episode, which I don't know if you got a chance to listen to it.

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[00:04:41] Sara Kobilka: So another person, who pushed back on the idea of at least the term Renaissance Person. Stephanie Castillo was noting the idea of like, you know, Renaissance Person is, in the traditional way, you got the Michelangelo. You have these people who are amazing professionals as artists and they're amazing professionals as scientists and it's very kind of career focused.

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[00:05:31] Sara Kobilka: And so, I kind of morphed my mindset on it. And I see two separate things happening. I think there's an idea of a maybe Renaissance career path, so that'd be somebody like myself. Where, OK, TV meteorologist, executive director of an arboretum, presenter at a science museum, jumped around to all these different jobs in different industries. That's one thing.

Then is the Renaissance Person interests and passions in a lot of different things, whether or not their career jumps around that much.

I have some people who are in the Renaissance Readers group who have worked at IBM their entire career. And so you'd say, OK, well they've been scientists at IBM, they're, they're not a Renaissance Person. But in their free time, they embroider or they swim, or they're a musician.

And so they have these passions of things that they do outside. Then there's also the term I've been throwing out, which is the Renaissance mindset. And this is what I see more of with you. Which is, you are a person who is insanely curious. You're a person who will dive down a rabbit hole just because you're interested in the topic.

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[00:06:16] Sara Kobilka: And learn all this sort of stuff. And you don't necessarily immediately have an application for that knowledge. You're just curious for the sake of curiosity. And then later on, you know, you destroy me when we're playing Trivial Pursuit because you've got all these facts on these random things. And I'm really bad at memorizing facts.

And Brian and my husband are also very good. So, um, you don't want me on the Trivial Pursuit team, but Brian is, he's a clutch. But I feel like that's where I see your Renaissance ness in that you don't limit yourself to say only watching movies about artists or only reading articles about artists. You're interested in a wide range of topics.

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[00:06:57] Sara Kobilka: And the other place where I see you kind of as a Renaissance Person, something I talked about in a previous episode about, the idea of growing up. And when we were kids, you and I were both very well-rounded.

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[00:07:08] Sara Kobilka: We were the kids who, by the time we graduated, we were in the advanced math, we were in advanced science, we were in advanced English, and we were doing well in all of those. And we were in band and theater and math team and all these different things. So at that point in time before you had necessarily like really honed in on a career and a desire to have a career in the arts. Some way I felt more Renaissancey. And even, I always think about what you told me about the biology class at UMD.

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[00:07:39] Sara Kobilka: Do you wanna share? ' cause I might get the facts wrong, and then you don't have to correct me. What was the situation?

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[00:07:46] Sara Kobilka: now I'm embarrassing you. Oh, stop embarrassing me.

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[00:07:55] Sara Kobilka: Yes!

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[00:08:18] Sara Kobilka: Yep. My least favorite.

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[00:08:33] Sara Kobilka: That's favorite part of biology, by the way, because that's applied and not memorizing.

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[00:08:54] Sara Kobilka: Yep.

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[00:09:04] Sara Kobilka: Mm-hmm.

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[00:09:09] Sara Kobilka: hockey and cold.

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[00:09:13] Sara Kobilka: Yes, they did.

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[00:09:48] Sara Kobilka: Yeah.

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[00:10:22] Sara Kobilka: Yeah.

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And I think that's why I've been drawn to trivia because like, and that's not necessarily even like a, oh I like this, I'm gonna commit this to memory. I just can't help but commit that to memory. Like to, to learn something and be like, that's weird! Like, I'm definitely gonna remember that. But yeah, trivia is also a lot of memorization. So there you go. I guess like, I just have a good mind for memory.

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[00:11:27] Brian Skellenger: Not that I was ever really interested in journalism. But, yeah, like the fact that you were so good at so many things and like could have gone into, so like any number of things. I feel like both of us probably could have gone into any number of things and been...

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[00:11:40] Brian Skellenger: ...pretty successful if we were passionate about it.

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[00:11:43] Brian Skellenger: But for me, like, I don't know, like once I discovered like theater and that was something that I was actually good at and maybe better than you at? No.

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[00:11:54] Brian Skellenger: was like...

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[00:11:55] Brian Skellenger: yes. Oh! Maybe I found it.

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[00:11:58] Brian Skellenger: Yeah, exactly. ' cause I was like, I don't wanna live in Sarah's shadow. But it wasn't even that. My decision to go into it was not like, because Sarah's not doing this, I'm gonna do it. I just like...

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[00:12:08] Brian Skellenger: When we were in that children's theater production of Cinderella when I was in second grade. And like...

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[00:12:14] Brian Skellenger: I figured out that I could sort of turn something that was an insecurity into something that made people laugh, which is, 'cause I was cast as this really nerdy character. And I was a dork, as a kid and I still am. I was so nervous that, the other kids were gonna laugh at me in like a make fun of me sort of way.

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[00:12:32] Brian Skellenger: But then, when I was able to like, oh, I'm entertaining these people. They're laughing with me in a way.

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[00:12:40] Brian Skellenger: Ooh, oh, OK. And then combine that with music and dance and stuff

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[00:12:44] Brian Skellenger: Sign me up. Ever since I discovered that, I was just like, no, I'm gonna be an actor when I grew up in like, I don't care. Like I like these other things. I can do these other things in school. But like, yeah, like being an actor was sort of just end game for me. And I just knew that from

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[00:12:59] Brian Skellenger: an early age. and I don't know, like, how old were you when you legitimately thought, oh, I could have a career in broadcasting or news?

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[00:13:24] Brian Skellenger: What?

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And he needed somebody to play this rickety old time piano. So mom went over to this house that had a rickety old time piano. She played for them. They recorded it, and then she got to watch them. Like, the thing I remember the most is she told me that they jumped up in the air and like slammed their bodies onto the wood and recorded the sound of that because they needed a sound of like somebody falling. Like, that sounds great! Signed me up. That's my career. That was I think seventh grade and or sixth or seventh.

And then there was the, job shadow day. Do you remember where you got to go and follow somebody around while they did their job? And so I asked Mom, can I go with your piano student's uncle? And he said yes. And so I actually got to go into the studio. I got to record my own voice and have it put as a voiceover for a commercial for the Minnesota State Lottery. And they recorded it on VHS for me so I could bring it home. I think mom and dad have the VHS still.

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[00:14:29] Sara Kobilka: It's in that collection.

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[00:14:33] Sara Kobilka: Yeah.

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[00:14:37] Sara Kobilka: For all we know. But yeah, I, I saw that and I was like, Ooh! It was great. It was theatrical. There was a microphone involved. There were, was an audience even though I couldn't see them.

And so that kind of got me thinking slightly differently and ' cause before that I wanted to be an actress on the stage. I love the applause. I love the theater. We grew up in the theater. Our dad was in shows, so even before you and I were ever in a show, we were going to the church to see dad in a musical. And so it was very much a thing that was very doable. And then you have mom with a piano background that it was just like, OK, you know, the theater, the musical theater world is, is a world we very much so knew.

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[00:15:18] Sara Kobilka: But this expanded it.

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[00:15:23] Sara Kobilka: Yes

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[00:15:25] Sara Kobilka: No.

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[00:15:30] Sara Kobilka: And that you could have a career in music.

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[00:15:34] Sara Kobilka: So we saw a piano teacher, so I think we had maybe that little broader perspective of the arts is something as a viable job for people.

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[00:15:48] Sara Kobilka: We go in all directions on this show Brian.

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[00:15:51] Sara Kobilka: Take the lead. I will follow.

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[00:15:53] Sara Kobilka: let's do this thing!

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[00:15:55] Sara Kobilka: U-turn

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And then it was like a series of sort of every couple years maybe he would get laid off and have to find a new job. And it was mostly in the same field. I think seeing his like resilience and his positive attitude and just like being able to get up and do these interviews or do temp work hoping that it would become permanent or things like that. I think that actually gave me the confidence to pursue something that lacks job security, like the performing arts. Because I was like, oh, if he can do that and like still support a family of four

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[00:16:42] Brian Skellenger: And like we have a house. Like we never, you know, like yes, we pinched pennies a bit. Uh, a lot of Flavorite brand, cereals and stuff, or Malto meal in the big bags.

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[00:16:53] Brian Skellenger: And we are like a very frugal family. So like we know how to, how to save a buck. But I think seeing that really was like eye-opening for me. That like, oh, like yeah, you're gonna have times where you don't know what you're doing next. And it's just like how you pick yourself up and move forward. And like acting is most of the time a lack of job security. Because like, unless you are in some sort of open-ended run on Broadway or some TV show that lasts forever, you know exactly when your job is gonna end. And you have to pick yourself up and

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[00:17:28] Brian Skellenger: f the next thing. And sometimes, you don't, have anything coming up. You're really lucky if you have a bunch of things on your plate coming up

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[00:17:36] Brian Skellenger: And you can at least track like the next like six months or even a year. , But that's really rare for an actor.

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[00:17:52] Brian Skellenger: Yeah

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[00:17:54] Brian Skellenger: It's a lot. But it made me a little more confident in pursuing it.

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[00:17:57] Brian Skellenger: And I was confident, to a degree at least, or I wanted to be, about my skill level and like my ability to be a performer and I was happy that it panned out and that I wasn't like completely, wrong about my, yeah about my skills. But like obviously it's one thing being an actor in the Twin Cities and then moving to New York and getting sort of like big for my britches. And then having that sort of like, oh, this is, this is the next level. Like not just in terms of the caliber of talent here. But like the sheer number of people who are also trying to be actors and the cost of living.

So like having my survival jobs, like babysitting or writing articles and stuff. Like, that sort of became a lot, like, I had to do a lot more of that to like get by. And then, it was too much to try to fit in auditions. And then suddenly, you know, I'm babysitting from like 8:00 AM until 6:00 PM or something. And then well there goes all the auditions for that day.

So yeah, the people who are able to do that and do both things and still be able to pursue what they want to do is hats off to them. So I'm really glad that I found improv, which is like,

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[00:19:06] Brian Skellenger: I'm not getting paid to do it, but it does fulfill that sort of creative need in me.

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[00:19:12] Brian Skellenger: Plus, like you said, all of my weird, like anything that you know, or that you've learned, you can bring into improv. If you need to like name drop some like random, I don't know, president or something, like you have that in your toolbox. And I've definitely whipped out some weird trivia and like, you, you hear that one person laugh in the back who like gets what you just referenced,

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[00:19:34] Brian Skellenger: Everybody else is just like, whatever. That was weird. Um, so I do love, I do love that aspect of improv.

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And then there was one person who you could kind of tell as an audience member who knew about Watergate that they maybe didn't get it quite as much. It was still hilarious because their not knowing. It added another layer of funniness to it. But as somebody who knew about it, just 'cause I'm old, but I also know about stuff, it made the jokes even funnier and the laughs even deeper.

And it's almost like you as that person on stage who's going super deep into this historical time period and this specific event, like you're almost winking at us in the audience of being like, yeah, I'm going there. You know what I'm doing. And it's really fun.

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Basically what that means is if somebody says something on stage, you treat it as truth and then you add onto it, you embellish on it. And so yeah, in something like that where might have a wide range of knowledge about a certain topic. If somebody who knows nothing about that topic says something, you're like, yeah, that, that is true. Like Martha, Washington, I don't know, like did date, uh, an oak tree at 15 or something. Like, I don't know. It's just some random, you're like, yeah, OK. we're spouting all these facts.

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[00:21:22] Brian Skellenger: Like something that's completely outta left field and we're like, yep, that happened. But also, the tree proposed to her and she turned it down because she met George. You find ways to tie it all back in. That is an aspect of improv that I do really love because it forces you to stay on your toes and accept a truth that somebody else brings to the table.

And, I think improv has a lot of good applications outside of just being entertaining because like, improv theaters do workshops and stuff for businesses and it, it's a great tool to just learn how to Yes, and... somebody else's idea that might be completely different than what you had in mind. And like, finding a way to marry those two things, or to not outwardly, like, reject somebody's idea if it, it doesn't fit your idea of like, what they should be talking about. To really give people permission to like, have their own thoughts

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[00:22:18] Brian Skellenger: Find a way to marry them and, and to also think outside the box. Another core tenet for improv is A- to C-ing or a even A to Z-ing things. Like if you get a suggestion of like box or something, well, you know, think outside the box. But, um, well, why did I think of the word box?

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[00:22:35] Brian Skellenger: Instead of being like, OK, now I'm gonna do a scene or a show about a box, A to C means like, OK, well what does the word box make you think of?

Well, maybe it makes you think of a cardboard box, but maybe that makes you think of a delivery or like Amazon or something. And so you get box, but then you do a show about like a delivery person. Or maybe it makes you think a TV is sometimes referred to as a box. And so maybe you do a show about people who live inside a TV or something.

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[00:23:04] Brian Skellenger: Exactly.

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[00:23:12] Brian Skellenger: A box so many things. so yeah, there's just such a freedom about it. ' cause you can go literal, but you can also go outside the box a little bit.

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[00:24:15] Brian Skellenger: Exactly. Yeah. You're not so hyper specialized and not that there's anything wrong with that if it serves you well. But I mean when we talk about like athletes, like being a multi-sport athlete is so often advantageous. I think of like, Dana Rettke, who is a middle blocker in women's volleyball now for team USA, but she used to play at the University of Wisconsin. And you know, she's like six seven or something. And she she used to be a dancer. And it's like, oh, OK, cool. And now she plays volleyball. But like, you think of the footwork, the footwork in volleyball, especially moving laterally and moving back to like go hit a ball and then you have

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[00:24:53] Brian Skellenger: to block people.. And then yeah, it's all about the transition and the footwork. Having somebody who is light on their feet at that height is such a strength for a team. And so of course she excels. You hear about all these top athletes who like, oh yeah, they played soccer and basketball and volleyball and ran track.

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Tiger Woods is the exception to the rule,. Like Tiger Woods and the whole like trained at three years old to be amazing golfer.

At the very beginning you were talking about how you and I grew up and the idea of being well-rounded I think was more embraced. And now there's more this focus, you gotta specialize your child now, because if they aren't excellent at that sport by nine, they're never gonna make it to the Olympics versus when they do research and look at these professional athletes who are doing really well, most of them did not specialize until much, much later in life. And having all those different sports and training their muscles differently and training their cardiovascular system differently, all that, that variety is what makes them 1 better all around when they do pick something. And also 2 it gives them time to figure out what they wanna specialize in.

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[00:26:02] Sara Kobilka: Versus if a parent decides you're gonna do this. And same thing, top musicians a lot of times have played multiple different instruments before they pick the one.

And Dr. Suzuki, the Suzuki method that our mom teaches, violin is what he wrote the Suzuki method based on. And it got expanded to piano and other areas, but he didn't specialize in violin until much later in life.

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[00:26:23] Sara Kobilka: And the stories I am sharing are actually from something I'm gonna throw in the show notes. Grab your drink!

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[00:26:32] Sara Kobilka: Take a drink! Mine too. Delicious! For those who have not listened before, one of my little running jokes is take a drink with the show notes. Because I love putting resources into the show notes that can help people out. ' cause that's what we Renaissance People do, is we find things and we like to share it with other people.

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[00:26:48] Sara Kobilka: But these are from the book Range: Why Generalists Thrive in a Specialized World by David Epstein, which is what the Renaissance Reader Book Club is reading. Which dad is a member of that book club. So he actually has..

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[00:27:01] Sara Kobilka Of course.

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[00:27:03] Sara Kobilka: So anyways, yeah. Well beyond your work in improv, I feel like improv is a place where specifically your, I'm not gonna go on your survivalist stuff because I think that's a little more skill specific, but your Renaissance Person love of learning has been accepted, embraced, and it's helped you excel in the realm of improv. Where else would you say that having that Renaissance mindset of being that lifelong learner has helped you be really successful, either in a career setting or some other type of setting?

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[00:28:00] Sara Kobilka: Yes.

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But being well versed in like a wide variety of topics, I think has been helpful. Because we'll have so many political articles or entertainment articles and knowing both of those realms, but then also be able to like talk about the Olympics, for example. And sort of know, know what I'm talking about and not just like sort of regurgitating and have no idea. I think that's helpful. Because as like an editor, I can sort of help guide the writers and answer questions about like, what does this mean? And so I think I've used it in pretty much all of my jobs and even as an actor too.

You're bringing yourself as an actor to any role that you play. And the more things that you are able to do or the more tools in your tool belt, the more castable I think you are. And then every time you play a role where maybe it's something that you haven't encountered before, now you're learning something new. Like just because maybe you play Betsy Ross doesn't mean that you're like suddenly the most amazing seamstress, but maybe, as part of the process of rehearsal, you have to like learn how to do a basic cross stitch or something, to make it look believable on stage or learn about fabrics

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[00:29:54] Brian Skellenger: Yeah. So the character that I was playing was a 19-year-old autistic boy, and he worked at like a Norse theme park. And so I learned a bunch about Norse mythology. But also, as a cast, we went and visited, a place called the Frazier Center, which is like a big, center for people with autism. And we observed people that were higher on the spectrum. And I know that the language around autism spectrum disorders has sort of changed.

But we saw the full spectrum while we were there just to get a sense of like how it manifests itself physically or verbally just 'cause you want to be able to portray something like that as authentically as you can.

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[00:30:37] Brian Skellenger: And I had encountered kids with autism when we were teaching summer school or things like that. So I had a general idea of how it might manifest itself. And obviously that got me the job. 'cause we didn't really dive deeply into it until we were into the rehearsal process, so I was already cast.

But yeah, just being able to see that and talk to people and get feedback about like, actually no, you probably wouldn't do that. Or who knows? I mean, it can manifest itself in any different way. So maybe there is no like, wrong answer or wrong way to do it.

That was an exhausting show because it was a lot of memorization. It was a lot of like, sort of rambling monologues about Norse mythology and roller coasters and things like that. But it was a lot of moving around and stimming. And, at one point I had a big meltdown. And I had to sort of like, figure out a way to make it look like I was slamming my head against the stage. And then like also there was this like sack that I would sit in, and get spun around in. And like, my vestibular sense is fine, which your vestibular sense is your relation to gravity, basically.

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[00:31:45] Brian Skellenger: And so for autistic people, like it's maybe a little less, honed in. And so there's this sort of therapy sack that you can sit in and spin it around and you really feel the gravity.

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[00:31:59] Brian Skellenger: Yeah, yeah. And it's like sort of like a stretchy fabric, whatever it really like encases you.

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[00:32:04] Brian Skellenger: Yes. It cocoons you I had to figure out like, 'cause they were spinning me around and spinning me around. We were practicing the different scenes for like so long. And I, I was like, OK, you have to like, spin me the other direction to un dizzy me because I'm gonna throw up.

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[00:32:18] Brian Skellenger: Yeah. So I like had to take Dramamine. But yeah, it was a lot. But like, I feel like I learned a lot from that experience. And I really enjoyed that as an actor. Like, I feel like that's like sort of a dream thing to do if you're somebody who likes a challenge.

And I do really enjoy a challenge like that. So yeah, I think my interest in that really helped me be able to deliver a more believable performance. 'cause like if I had sort of just phoned it in or thought like, you know, I kind of feel like I know everything I need to know to like, get by with this

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[00:32:51] Brian Skellenger: Exactly! Like I don't think it would've been as or believable, so,

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[00:32:56] Brian Skellenger: Yeah,

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[00:33:04] Brian Skellenger: That's my metaphor.

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[00:33:11] Brian Skellenger: Dang it!

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I have my very first newsletter that I started, which is for job seekers, is called Take it With You.

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[00:33:20] Sara Kobilka: I use the metaphor of travel

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[00:33:24] Sara Kobilka: And a multi-destination trip when talking about your career, going back to dad, all the different positions and everything. And the metaphor that I use is I talk about packing your skillset suitcase.

And then like, every place you stop at, you might add new tools into your skillset suitcase. We might stop in one place and learn a foreign language. You learn to physically speak the language of autism.

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[00:33:46] Sara Kobilka: You know, you have all these things. And the metaphor of travel, I think works really well for careers and especially for people who are moving a lot in their career into different things.

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[00:33:56] Sara Kobilka: Would you say that , when you think about the skills that you take with you, is that a place where you feel like maybe you are connecting the dots and saying, Hey, here's this one idea here, and then here's where it applies over there. Or are there other places where you say you connect the dots?

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The majority of the artists that you meet are really empathic people. And I think acting is something that sort of requires that if you really wanna do well at it. You have to really dive in and get to know who this character is ev even if it's like you're playing some cartoony villain to try to find maybe the humanity in them or why that they're doing the things that they're doing. And I think that is sort of connecting the dots, in a sort of human way trying to connect to other people. Because the more that you do, the more different kinds of people that you interact with or see on stage, the more you're likely to empathize with people that are different than you. And so I think that is one way of connecting the dots.

But just like bringing all of your skills to something and figuring out, oh, this is a completely unrelated thing, but I feel like it's useful in this application. I'm trying to think of like a specific example. Like you could have pretty different jobs and be able to bring something from a job that you don't think is gonna be useful in the new job. And then suddenly it's like, oh, actually I can apply this right here.

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[00:35:36] Brian Skellenger: So that's connecting dots, I think, in a way as well.

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And I think both you and I have been drawn to careers that are about communicating knowledge, communicating emotions, communicating things to other people and, and having them here and understand and potentially empathize.

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[00:36:34] Sara Kobilka: Do you think you're drawn to Renaissance People? I feel like you have a lot of friends who are.

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[00:36:46] Sara Kobilka: Why?

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[00:36:51] Sara Kobilka: Wait, are you saying that maybe my idea that you're a Renaissance Man might have some validity?

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[00:36:59] Sara Kobilka: yes.

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[00:37:00] Sara Kobilka: Pick you own identity!

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[00:37:01] Sara Kobilka: walking Venn diagram.

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[00:37:04] Sara Kobilka: Oh, somebody I was talking with earlier today, she came up with a term that I just like immediately was like, that's perfect! We are knowledge magpies.

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[00:37:13] Sara Kobilka: Like the birds who collect all the shiny objects and like hide them in their little nest.

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[00:37:20] Sara Kobilka: Yeah. And they collect all the shiny, sparkly, thoughtful things. And just like, ooh knowledge! I'll collect that one and that one and, and store it in here.

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[00:37:38] Sara Kobilka: Yes.

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[00:38:02] Sara Kobilka: caring and empathy again!

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[00:38:16] Sara Kobilka: You're in New York City. I'm an hour and a half north of you. I think New York City in particular attracts people.

I've lived in six different states and I tend to get closest to the people who have not spent their entire life living in the place that we move to. I friend the people who are... Transplants.

I jokingly like to call us the expats. And I think because they were willing to uproot themselves and leave their home to go to another place that's unknown. And especially the ones who don't...

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[00:39:18] Sara Kobilka: They're risk takes. Yeah.

[: 00:39:10

And I also think that those are oftentimes some of the people who are at the greatest risk for loneliness. And with our loneliness epidemic going on right now, you know, maybe it didn't happen in the past because not that many people left the small town they grew up in. But those of us who have done that, we see the value of all these experiences we've had. We know how to make friends, we know how to network and all that sort of stuff.

But every time you do move, it is a little bit like starting over and you are having to build your own friend group. And as adults, we don't find friends as easily as children do. And even young adults, because they've got that built in like school, we will sit together for hours and just have things to talk about 'cause we're all going through the same thing. Versus you just make adult friends when you move.

And it's like, initially our adult friends here were parents of kids same age as my children. But I'm like, OK, I can only have so many mom friends. And now I've kind of like winnowed down the mom friends. And I've stayed close with the ones who are more Renaissance Peopley.

So friends from New York who are listening, you made it! You made the cut! And then the other ones, I'm like, oh, well, yep, we'll stand and talk about what the kids are up to lately. But if that's the only conversation we can have, OK. We'll have that conversation on.

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[00:40:19] Sara Kobilka: Yeah!

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[00:40:21] Sara Kobilka: This is what happened when we chat.

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[00:40:38] Sara Kobilka: And we'll put it in the show note. We'll put links to all sorts of great songs Brian has recorded and that are available on YouTube.

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[00:40:49] Sara Kobilka: Your nieces love it.

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[00:40:51] Sara Kobilka: They're like, what? Brian's famous, are we famous too 'cause we're related to him? I'm like, absolutely girls. Yep.

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[00:41:01] Sara Kobilka: Yep.

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[00:41:03] Sara Kobilka: Totally. But

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[00:41:23] Sara Kobilka: Yeah. And I gave you something to listen to. One in particular that I really love, get ready, show notes, drink, is Allie Ward's Ologies. And what I love about it is that it's like meteorology, physiology, blah, blah, ology, blah, blah, blah. And they just like list off all these different ologies and it's kind of fun and it's got a rhythm to it. And I'm like, Ooh, I kind of like the vibe of this. This is one thing.

Then we have the glissando, which was something that was important to me.

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[00:41:53] Sara Kobilka: It works! And for those who don't know it, a glissando is like if you're playing the piano and say you put your fingers down on one note and then you swiped your fingers up, it would play all of the white keys. So it'd be like that you'll hear at the very beginning. And I'll put it in right here.

Ready? OK. That was the just like that, the magic of editing. But the reason I wanted a glissando is because if you wrote out the actual music, it would be dots that are connected. so it was like a secret thing, the Easter egg for the musicians in the group to know it's dots that are connected.

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[00:42:35] Sara Kobilka: yeah.

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[00:42:53] Sara Kobilka: Yeah, we

talk about how hard it is to explain our complex self in a simplified manner. it's hard to narrow things down and simplify. So I'm glad you gotta have people in your life like my brother, who are like, Sara much. Let's edit. Cut a few things out.

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[00:43:31] Sara Kobilka: Yeah. I wonder what it is about the marimba about that piece of wood that you strike that makes it play two notes at the same time.

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[00:43:44] Sara Kobilka: There we go.

[: 00:43:45

[00:43:51] Sara Kobilka: Mm-hmm.

[: 00:43:51

And then also I'm Connecting the Dots, but with each syllable, I'm adding a new harmony to that, to make it more complex. So I'm connecting the dots between the notes and between the syllables of the words, Connecting the Dots.

[: 00:44:36

[00:44:37] Brian Skellenger: Once we get into with The Renaissance People, that's when I just sort of, we've Connected the Dots, now let's let loose with our tribe, sort of, you know? And so that part is in full harmony.

Plus I wouldn't necessarily say before that it's in a minor key or anything. It's sort of in like a nebulous key. But then once we get to, with The Renaissance People, it shifts into this major chord, which in my mind, when you do that, when you resolve into a major chord, there's like sort of a relief. There's a happiness about it.

[: 00:45:08

[00:45:17] Brian Skellenger: love when a chord resolves like that. But then after I recorded it, I realized it's a very similar, not necessarily the melody, but like the chord structure is very similar to are you ready for some football? You know, which, like, that is an exciting opening to football.

[: 00:45:34

[00:45:35] Brian Skellenger: Like you're getting people ready for kind of a party and to be entertained and to celebrate. And I think a lot of that is having that major chord sort of resolve with football.

[: 00:45:44

[00:45:55] Brian Skellenger: Right.

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[00:45:56] Brian Skellenger: Exactly! But then,

[: 00:45:57

[00:45:58] Brian Skellenger: But with The Renaissance People, it's less auto-tuned to just sound more like my normal singing voice. Because now the people are joined, you know, they've been connected. So yeah, that was sort of my thought process going into it.

And then we added the glissando. 'cause I do think it adds.

[: 00:46:11

[00:46:11] Brian Skellenger: adds a nice punch to like end, now we're starting. Or when you do it at the end, going down

[: 00:46:17

[00:46:17] Brian Skellenger: it's done.

[: 00:46:18

[00:46:35] Improv Game

[: 00:46:35

So we're going to play the complete the sentence. You know, you're a Renaissance Person if... And you've heard other episodes, you're super fan. So, I'm gonna give you two different ones that I've never said before, and you get to improvise two of your own, and we're gonna go with that expansive definition of Renaissance Person, the lifelong learner, your version of it is totally fine.

So, you know, you are a Renaissance Person if you have a lot of friends who come from different generations. Because I remember as a kid, I was the weirdo who would like talk to my friend's parents. And then when I was in college, I was friends with my TAs. But I was also friends with my instructors, faculty members. I'm like, you're really interesting. You know more than me, you're older than me. That's fine.

And even throughout my life, I've moved all around. I've made lots of friends who are older than me. And now I'm making quite a few friends who are in their twenties. And I see value in the youth. I see value in the age I just find interesting people.

If you're interesting, I don't care what age you are, I'll be your friend.

[: 00:47:45

[00:47:54] Sara Kobilka: ah!!

[: 00:47:55

[00:48:11] Sara Kobilka: yeah, '

[: 00:48:11

[00:48:13] Sara Kobilka: Let's go!

[: 00:48:14

[00:48:20] Sara Kobilka: Hopefully.

Excellent! Um, now I've forgotten the one that I was gonna say. Oh, shoot. OK, we'll stick with one 'cause we're going a long time. Uh, improv Boy. What? You can't improvise. That's OK. I'm gonna forgive you this time

[: 00:48:34

[00:48:34] Sara Kobilka: So we're gonna do the rapidish fire questions and maybe they will be actually rapid.

What is one metaphor you find yourself using frequently?

[: 00:48:42

[00:48:44] Sara Kobilka: Woo hoo!

[: 00:48:44

[00:48:47] Sara Kobilka: It's a very, like, it's like Batman.

[: 00:48:49

[00:48:50] Sara Kobilka: It's kinda embarrassing.

[: 00:48:53

[00:48:54] Sara Kobilka: Otherwise trouble. It's an x-rated show.

[: 00:48:57

[00:48:59] Sara Kobilka: No, don't wanna do that. Yeah. This is why this is an explicit podcast. ' cause we say words like that.

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[00:49:17] Sara Kobilka: And I'm pretty certain your nieces think that is.

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[00:49:11] Sara Kobilka: How about then, what's one rabbit hole that you have gone down recently?

[: 00:49:16

down a rabbit hole, I think. I'm trying to think of anything specific because like with my job, all I'm doing is like looking up news and going on social media all day. And so, you could probably say anything and I'd be like, yeah, I've gone down a rabbit hole on that. I think one of my most common rabbit holes though, is watching a TV or a movie and seeing somebody either that I recognize, but I can't place where else I have seen them, or somebody who I know I don't know. But then I want to see what else they've been in. And I'll go to like, IMDB and I'll look up like the thing that I'm watching and find that person.

And then I start looking at everything they've been in and I'm like, oh my gosh, they were in this. Oh yeah, I remember that. And they're like, oh, that, oh, Meryl Streep was in that? What else is Meryl... like how many Oscars has Meryl Streep been nominated for?

You know, like I will just go down this rabbit hole and then like, it'll be an hour later and I'm somehow like looking at like the cast of Barney and Friends. And I'm like, how did I get here? just 'cause I was connecting those dots, baby.

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[00:50:39] Brian Skellenger: One was by actor, one was by title of movie.

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[00:51:02] Brian Skellenger: I think that the one that was by title, would list at least the main cast members and

[: 00:51:07

[00:51:07] Brian Skellenger: Like a brief synopsis of what the film was about. So,

[: 00:51:11

[00:51:12] Brian Skellenger: Yeah.

[: 00:51:12

[00:51:15] Brian Skellenger: But it's like, we worked at that movie store for several years. Once you've put movies away enough times, you start just remembering what the movie box looks like and you know, you

[: 00:51:25

[00:51:26] Brian Skellenger: You know exactly where it is.

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[00:51:28] Brian Skellenger: Even if you've never seen the movie, you're like, oh, I know exactly what you're talking about. It's over in comedy.

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[00:51:38] Brian Skellenger: Oh yeah, you did AFI's Top 100.

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[00:51:52] Brian Skellenger: some of those older ones, yeah.

[: 00:51:54

[00:51:56] Brian Skellenger: at a movie store back when that was a thing.

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[00:51:59] Brian Skellenger: That was a great thing for a Renaissance Person, I think. Cause you get all kinds of variety of subject matter, you know?

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[00:51:12] Brian Skellenger: OK.

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[00:52:17] Brian Skellenger: Oh! Uh...I feel like I've had so few jobs in my life. Cause I think we've named all of that. Well, yeah. So like, no, I don't think anything that I've done would surprise anybody, honestly.

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[00:52:27] Brian Skellenger: OK

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[00:52:29] Brian Skellenger: OK great.

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[00:52:34] Brian Skellenger: Oh yeah.

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[00:52:39] Brian Skellenger: Ohh! Oh oh oh!

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[00:52:43] Brian Skellenger: That was my job out of college. It was like at a time where hospitals and medical centers were like transitioning from paper charts and files to an online sort of database. And so I flew out to Freehold, New Jersey, in like May right after I graduated. And it was like with two other people who I'd gone to theater school with. And, would, we would work really random hours. Like, we would be like, oh, we're gonna work from like 4:00 PM to like 4:00 AM this night. And it was like scanning these paper files into the system. QCing them, quality control, to make sure that they actually scanned in properly. And then classifying the correct place. It was just tedious work. We would all listen to like music or whatever while we were doing it. There was like no windows. We would just be in this like room that was filled with boxes of files. It was a little insane.

I guess the other job that I sort of had, that was random. I don't know if people would be like, oh, I'm surprised that you did that, was I read an American history textbook aloud to this sophomore in high school on the upper West side because he got a concussion, playing rugby. And so it made him dizzy to like actually read his textbook. And so I would go over to his apartment and we'd sit at a table or like, I'd sit in a chair and he'd lay on his bed and I would just read his American history textbook. Which, of all the subjects I think like besides like English or something, like that one actually worked pretty well to do it that way because American history...

[: 00:54:11

[00:54:12] Brian Skellenger: Yeah. It's basically stories. And then he had me do that with chemistry. That did not work out so well. 'cause I'm like CH uh, 2, like little 2 big uh, like, I don't know, i'm like, what are we doing here? This is like, that's like reading math basically. So,

[: 00:54:28

[00:54:28] Brian Skellenger: He was like, uh, yeah, let's not do that. Let's just have you keep reading American history and I'll do the biology and chemistry stuff on my own. I'm like, yeah, that works.

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[00:55:00] Brian Skellenger: OK.

[: 00:55:09

[00:55:04] Brian Skellenger: like, when you think about it, it is really is a visual thing to be able to

[: 00:55:09

[00:55:09] Brian Skellenger: process it, but yeah, it doesn't have to be. Interesting.

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[00:55:36] Brian Skellenger: Hold on. Like, as an actor, so much of it is about social media now. I don't know

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[00:55:41] Brian Skellenger: My handle. OK hold on. So uh, yeah, I don't post much on Instagram, but if you wanna follow me there, my handle is BSkellenger. Or you can just search for Brian Skellenger. There is another Brian Skellenger in the world in the United States, but he's a locksmith, so I'm not that.

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[00:55:59] Brian Skellenger: No, Florida.

[: 00:56:00

[00:56:03] Brian Skellenger: Um, so, don't friend him, friend me, or follow me I think my page is public now. So, otherwise I'm also on YouTube. If you look for Brian Skellenger and you can find my acapella videos there. If you're ever in New York, assuming I'm still doing it, I do musical improv on Thursday nights at the Magnet Theater, which is on 29th Street and 8th Avenue, basically. And that's every Thursday. And it's really fun. So if you're ever in New York City, you wanna do something creative and stupid and silly, come see musical improv.

[: 00:56:32

[00:56:50] Brian Skellenger: For this theater, it's 4 hours of musical improv. So it's two teams per hour, eight teams during the night, and you can get in for the whole night for $8, and you can stay for the whole entire night if you want. It's pretty nice.

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[00:57:13] Brian Skellenger: Okay. Yep.

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[00:57:18] Brian Skellenger: Alrighty! Thank you!

[: 00:57:18